Broccoli Wrapped Meatballs

Some years ago mom made up this recipe to make use of the abundance of broccoli leaves we had in the garden that year. When I started my own winter garden I couldn't wait to make this, it's now a staple I must make every year! Broccoli leaves are a great alternative to other greens such as collars, mustard, and turnips which have much stronger flavor. Broccoli leaves can be prepared all the same ways but they have a milder and more familiar flavor, making them quite acceptable to finicky palates.

To go along with our meatballs this evening, the kids helped me pick carrots and broccoli from the garden. It's been pretty neglected out there because I don't care to venture out in the cold. That's the great thing about winter gardening, it really just kind of takes care of itself.

Broccoli Wrapped Meatballs

10 Medium Broccoli Leaves
1 lb ground beef
1 onion chopped fine
Italian bread crumbs
Minute Oatmeal
Tony Chachere's to taste

Prepare the broccoli leaves by blanching them in water for a few seconds to make them pliable. Cool and cut out the large center stem without cutting the entire leaf in half. Mix together ground meat, chopped onion (you can use less if you prefer), fair dash of breadcrumbs and oatmeal to bind the mix (I sometimes add an egg too). Season to taste.

Roll a small chunk of the meatball mix into a ball and lay one leaf with the cut ends slightly overlapping. Start rolling and tucking the leaf around the meatball to the end. Place seam side down in a casserole dish. Repeat with remaining leaves and meat. Pour half a can of prepared spaghetti sauce over the meatballs and bake at 375 degrees F for 40-50 minutes until done. Sprinkle with cheese if desired.

I would venture to say you could probably feed 3-4 people with the meatballs, but between the kids and I we ate 5. I probably could have kept going but I decided I should leave some for Brandon when he gets back from Dallas. He went to watch the BYU/Tulsa bowl game.

The kids love eating vegetables from the garden that they got to help grow and pick. Ian is a huge broccoli fan and zoey loves carrots, but she prefers them raw instead of steamed. I seriously love these Danver 156 carrots, they're so sweet and their flavor is so intense!

Christmas At the Mastens

Christmas is supposed to be the most awesome day of the year, it was nothing short of a nightmare at our house. Now the day after Christmas was sooo much better. Let me tell you how it all went down.

On Christmas Eve, things were going really well. I finished up all my cooking and cleaning I wanted to get done before my parent's fabulous Christmas Eve party. A couple hours before the party Zoey starts complaining she doesn't feel well. She really wasn't identifying very well what was bothering her. Eventually Brandon took her home for a while, where no real improvements were made. By the time he brought her back, she had fallen alseep in the van and took a nap in my parents room during a portion of the party. I knew that was not going to be good. She never takes naps, and when she does it usually screws up her schedule really bad. When she finally woke up it was only about an hour and a half to bed time. She was a terror when she got up, weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth at every tiny little thing. If she dropped something or tripped or whatever it was nothing short of a complete meltdown. We wound up leaving the party at 7:30 since both the kids were at their end. Ian was so wound up, I knew it was going to take time to bring him down and Zoey well, It was a relief just to get her in the van and contained.

Brandon and I wound up staying up late catching up on some shows and making sure that the kids stayed asleep before Santa came. As expected, Zoey woke up wailing an hour after bed. Gave her some motrin and she went back to sleep. 3:00 am rolls around and Zoey busts into our room announcing that Santa came. We wearily tell her to get in bed with us and go back to sleep because we can't open presents until Ian wakes up. We're only able to contain her for about 30 minutes before she decides to take matters into her own hands and she gets out of our bed and goes to start unwrapping presents on her own.

So we decided to just get up, wake up Ian and have Christmas hoping the kids would take an early nap before Church. So here's some photos of the wreckage that is Christmas morning.

About 5:00 in the morning I just can't stay awake anymore and I take Ian back to bed with me. Zoey is so wired, she can't get enough of the toys, so Brandon stays up with her. Ian and I get up around 8 and find Brandon trying to get some sleep on the couch. I send him back to bed and I make some breakfast for the kids. Zoey is still going strong bouncing from toy to toy making sure that every new thing gets played with.

At 10:30 I try to put the kids down for a nap, to no avail, they both refuse to sleep, too many toys need playing with. We get to church at 12:30 and it is the hardest hour of church to get through because both of the kids are completely buck wild. We spend most of the time chasing them around the halls. Zoey shows no sign of slowing down. I'm certain at some point she is just going to crash, but she resists.

After church we go to my brother's in-laws house for some yummy Christmas lunch. As soon as we get there, Zoey sees the gifts and tries to help herself to opening some when my brother corrects her that it isn't time for gifts yet. She has the most massive awful melt down that lasts at least 30 minutes, just crying and crying and crying. We leave at about 3:30. Zoey is still not showing any signs of passing out. We get home and Ian welcomes a much needed nap. Zoey absolutely refuses, she won't even sit quietly on the couch and watch a movie. I was hoping that would put her to sleep. At this point she has been awake and going for over 12 hours.

At 5:00 I wake up Ian and we go to Moms house for some Christmas Eve leftovers. Zoey is showing more signs of wear, just being generally cranky. Ian isn't happy about being woken from his nap. I'm really just ready for the day to end, it's been exhausting fighting the kids and the kids fighting each other. Brandon and I are both really tired and cranky too.

Now the day after Christmas was great, everyone got lots of rest, we went after Christmas shopping as a family and the kids played together all day long with their toys and we relaxed and enjoyed each other's company.

At the end of the week, it was a great Christmas. I've set a new record for finished objects off my sewing machine/serger in a week. 11 pairs of pajama pants for all the nieces, nephews, and friends' kids.

One last final picture of how we decorated the house this year. We bought A LOT of lights at the after Christmas sales. It's gonna be double awesome next year!

And a list of random words that Brandon typed in while we were reading scriptures. I guess I'm not getting my bonus points for legitimately including them in the post. Merry Christmas Everyone!

poop

beeblebrox

s'up?

ninjas

tortellini

Don't josh me.

fugetaboutit

bazoop

dingy

The Art of Merging

A preface, I am going to try better to document all the issues I have while programming and my solutions. I've used the wonders of other people's documentation of their solutions to problems to help me fix my own, it's time that I gave back. In reality, no one is probably ever going to come to this blog to solve a programming problem, but I gotta do my part and at least put it out there.

No, I'm not talking about merging your vehicle onto the highway, although that's another post in itself about the proper technique. I'm talking about database merging or more specifically merging data between two tables.

The Problem

I am building an interface between my home grown software on MS SQL and an out of box application that runs on an Oracle database. That isn't particularly pertinent to this solution but it's a basis of why you might want to use this technique. In this interface there is a set of Assets in Oracle and for the ease of use, all those Assets and information are copied into my program in a similarly structured table. 15-20K records are used at one time. In total, several hundred thousand.

Table Equipment in MS SQL
ID
OracleID
SerialNumber
Description
ImportantValue
Active

Table Asset in Oracle
OracleID
SerialNumber
Description
ImportantValue
Active

The problem is that once we load all the values from Asset into Equipment how do we know what changes in Asset so that we can update the records in Equipment? If I were allowed to modify the database that Asset resides in, this would be an easy run time solution using triggers. Unfortunately I am barely allowed read access. That program is locked down tight. In some cases records are added to Asset and we need to add those to Equipment as well. Records will never be deleted from Asset only deactivated.

The Solution

My first thought was to use EXCEPT to find the differences between the table and then run a CURSOR (which is just a while loop in SQL) to do an update or insert on each of the returned records. I really really didn't want to do this because a CURSOR should really be a last resort, it is slow. If you have to traverse potentially tens of thousands of records, that's not the way to go. Not to mention the code is long, and while readable isn't particularly elegant.

After some research I discovered MERGE is a newly supported function in MS SQL Server 2008, although I got the vibe it existed in 2003 as well. What happened in 2005? I don't know. All I know is I could use it in my 2008 database and that makes me happy. Now I don't claim to know everything about the execution and how all these functions work, but I do know it was fast and it did what I wanted to do and I didn't need a cursor.

Here's the full microsoft explaination of MERGE 

This page gave a sample using static values to enter or update, but I modified my own query to use another query instead.


MERGE INTO Equipment AS Target
USING (SELECT OracleID, SerialNumber, Description, ImportantValue, Active
FROM Asset)
  AS Source (NewOracleID, NewSerialNumber, NewDescription, NewImportantValue, NewActive)
ON Target.OracleID = Source.NewOracleID
WHEN MATCHED THEN
UPDATE SET
                    SerialNumber=NewSerialNumber
                    Description=NewDescirption
                    ImportantValue=NewImportantValur
                    Active=NewActive
WHEN NOT MATCHED BY TARGET THEN
INSERT (OracleID, SerialNumber, Description, ImportantValue, Active) VALUES  
                    (NewOracleID, NewSerialNumber, NewDescription, NewImportantValue, NewActive)

And there you have it, a data merge between Asset and Equipment. This case will actually select ALL the rows in Asset and compare them all and perform updates on everything it matches. If you only wanted to update or insert the differences, then you would modify the SELECT statement after the USING clause to only return the affected rows. That can be done using the EXCEPT function.

For Example


SELECT * FROM (SELECT OracleID, SerialNumber, Description, ImportantValue, Active
FROM Asset
EXCEPT
SELECT OracleID, SerialNumber, Description, ImportantValue, Active
FROM Equipment) A


This will return any records changed or added to the Asset table. I found that the query time was acceptable using the MERGE without the EXCEPT so I left it as is.

Program On.

Clean Up

When I ask Ian if he'll help me pick up toys or clean up the house:

Ian: Yeeahhhh. Cween up Cween up. *fewefs  ncjhehkan snjknads* body cween up.

He'll repeat this about 5 or 6 times or until he finds a toy while cleaning up that he wants to play with and then he's done helping. I guess they sing that song in nursery because we don't sing it here very often. It's so adorable to hear him sing it and help!

The Zone

Since I've started working again and putting in some real hours, we've been putting some upgrades into my work space. I had two 19" monitors, but one was VGA only and pretty old, the text wasn't clear and since I have issues with eye dryness anyway, it wasn't helping. We decided to get a new monitor. Somehow in all the logic and reasoning that flew around for the next few days, we wound up with a new TV and I got Brandon's old gaming monitor. And now here's my new programming environment:

If I open  Visual Studio to the full right screen I can view almost 100 lines of code. It's SO awesome. I've decided this is my most efficient set up: Running web app in the left screen, code bottom 2/3 of the right screen, SQL server in the top third of the right screen. I rarely have to do window switching now to get around everything I need in my environment. I can really whip out some code now! Also on the left, my very own work phone, love this thing. Brandon set up a VOIP server that we route through Google so I don't have to burn my cell minutes on long conference calls and the speaker phone is way better on this phone. I got everything I need, except maybe a mini fridge filled with Pepsi.

Yeah, I know you're jealous.

Peas Porridge Cold!

A couple days ago we had our first freeze. It wasn't a very hard one but it did mottle and damage my pea plants. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but these things just aren't producing for me. Maybe I'll have to try earlier next spring with a different variety. My crop last spring hardly did anything. Anyway since the plants were already a bit damaged, I decided to let Zoey go ahead and pick the peas that had developed. She gets REALLY fixated on the garden once I allow her to pick something. So every day since she asks if she can pick peas or she'll go out there and check out the plants and insist there are peas ready. I've given up on trying to restrain her since I'm pretty sure the plants won't really make much more before too many freezes start happening and kill the plants entirely. She has been quite diligent about going out and picking every single pod she can find, bringing them in and then shelling them into one of her stacking cups and asking me to keep them in the fridge so she can eat them later.  Amazingly enough she does eat them! and Ian too! I can't get them to eat peas in any other way. I guess that's another benefit of home gardening, if your kids feel like they have helped create that food, they're more willing to eat it. In total we've only had about 1/4 cup of peas, so not much to speak of but enough for a 3 year old to be thrilled.

Some Videos

Sometimes the kids will play together alone at Masten Park. When I saw this I didn't want to interrupt the fun by opening the door so I'm spying between the blinds at the back door. I dunno what all the background noise is. It's pretty hilarious watching them smack their heads numerous times and still keep playing.

Ian picks up on things a lot faster than Zoey did. Here you can see he has learned how to open a door and knows what the bathroom is for. He will frequently run to the bathroom right after he wets his diaper. We've sat  him on there a couple times but he doesn't go. He's really obsessed with the bathroom lately, but I worry  because not only does he know how to flush the toilet he realizes that it makes things disappear. He has yet to connect all those dots, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time we're fishing things out of the toilet that don't belong there.

Company Holiday Party

Brandon has worked for ExxonMobil for 4 years and this was the first year we decided to go to the Company Holiday party. I'd have to say the whole thing felt kind of awkward. When we got there, everyone was crammed into this lobby outside of the ballroom where dinner was going to be served and it was so loud you had to yell just to talk to anyone. This is also where a photographer was set up so you could get your picture taken. Each employee could have two shots so Brandon and I chose to do two poses to increase our odds of it not being a horrible picture, but we struck out. It was so homecoming feeling, and I don't know how a photographer can make a person as skinny as me have a double chin but she did it. Here is the least awkward of the two photos.

The best part of the whole night was the FOOD. It was so freakin' good!!! I'm used to eating at like 5-5:30 but dinner wasn't until 7:30, I was so hungry! It was a four corners of the world theme with South America, Europe, Asia, and North America. I went to South America first and had these AMAZING chicken empanadas with a cilantro cream sauce. If you've ever had the southwestern egg rolls at Chili's it was reminiscent of those. This section also had some really good roasted beef with a pesto type sauce. Yummy. Then I went to Europe, probably the worst selection of food but they did offer a classic greek salad that was also incredibly delicious. Brandon didn't think so, but he doesn't like feta cheese, kalamata olives or greek vinegarette. He ate before he came anyway. After that I was sooo stuffed. I really wanted to go to Asia and get some mini egg rolls but I was so full. So I then packed down a large martini glass of strawberries and whipped cream, a chocolate tulip with chocolate mousse, and a creme brule. At this point I was sooooo uncomfortable I was so full.

We chatted with some co workers and also BYU grads. Funny how we Mormons always end up gravitating to one another. We called it a night at 9:00 and went home, because we're old and have kids. I guess that doesn't explain why I stayed up til almost midnight to finish configuring a web server and install a web app. That's work for ya.

Here in My Arms

Since I graduated high school almost 10 years ago I don't play my cello very often, but every now and again (I guess about every 3 years) someone finds out that I can play and asks me to perform with them. It's always around Christmas, which is great, I love Christmas music. I'm usually really reluctant to play but eventually give in and agree because if you don't use a talent, then you lose it. While playing once every three years isn't much exercise for a talent, it's enough to keep it from completely rusting over. Every year, the Kingwood, Texas Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints holds a Nativity Display and Music Festival where many groups in the area perform while anyone come into the building and see hundreds of nativity scenes from all over the world. It's so beautiful to see all the renditions of this miraculous event that Christmas revolves around. In 2008 I was asked to perform this song with a vocalist, and a string ensemble including a harp. I love harp, one of these days I'm gonna learn to play one. I'll probably be really old, but I'm gonna do it! After  a couple years of chaos the vocalist contacted me and asked me to perform the song again with the group.

This is not a very well known Christmas song by Rob Gardner, or really known at all. Brandon has been on vacation all week and I've been working during the day so I was really ingrained with  programming code so I felt really off for the performance. It didn't help in my hour long cram session I gave myself a blister practicing. But I won't point out all the flaws, just enjoy the words.

What Goes Around Comes Around

While Zoey was really sick late last week, Ian was his super chipper self running wildly all over the house. I could tell that he recognized that Zoey was not feeling well and slow moving and boy he really picked on her. He knew he could get away from her wrath. She cried a lot.

I warned that boy, I said he better quit picking on her because what goes around comes around.

And then a couple days ago, he got hit hard. That cold Zoey had hit him full force with the coughing and the fever, and for payment of all his ornament nabbing: an ear infection. Poor kid has been knocked on his butt sleeping almost all day and hardly eating or drinking a thing. I thought surely that was enough karma at work, but Zoey didn't think so. While we were giving Ian a dose of medicine before bed, she took the liberty of pouring the rest of it into the garbage can. More likely it was out of jealousy than spite that she did that. She can't stand when Ian gets something she doesn't also get.

I'm not sure whether to feel relieved or bad that Brandon has been home on vacation all week taking care of the kids so I can work during the day. I'm going to go with relieved. That's a lot of crying from two sick babies.

Christmas is Coming!

I really really really tried to hold back on getting our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving this year because usually the tree starts to stink (to me) by Christmas day, even though I'm exceptionally diligent about watering it. When I saw that we were going to be having a rainy day on Saturday, I couldn't resist and we headed out to Houston Garden Centers to pick a tree. In the past we've always gotten a Noble Fir tree, but hoping that another type wouldn't stink as fast or as badly, we decided on a Frasier Fir this year. It's a little more expensive, but looks very similar to the Noble. I was actually hoping for a different look all together but the lot we went to only had Noble and Frasier this early. The Frasier is a bit more filled out and the branches a bit more delicate.

Poor Zoey had been coughing most of the night, she was feeling pretty sick but she was really really insistent on going get a Christmas Tree. Last year she had a decent understanding of what Christmas was all about, but this year she is really gung ho and excited about everything revolving around Christmas. The tree, lights, decorations, everything. She insisted she felt ok and so we loaded up in the van and went get the tree. Once we got there, he-who-cannot-be-contained aka Ian had a blast running around amongst the trees and very vehemently did not want to leave once we got there. Zoey decided after being there maybe 10 minutes that she really was sick and was ready to go home. I did manage to get one shot on my camera before the battery gave out.

Clearly, not a very good shot. Yes we are shopping for a tree on Black Friday in shorts and sandals. I think it was about 74ish outside. Nice. I love Houston.

The chosen tree, decorated mostly by Zoey. She was so excited even though she was so sick. She would hang some ornaments, go rest for a while and then come back and do some more. I guess I should probably trim the top a bit. My vintage star is pretty far away way up there. The lights are pretty sweet. They are LED and you can choose to have multi-color or just white or fade back and forth between them. The kids pretty much fight all day long over the ornaments. It typically goes something like this:

Ian takes ornament from tree.

Zoey freaks out and starts screaming and crying

Ian runs around the house with the ornament

Zoey catches Ian and tears the ornament from his hands

Ian screams and cries because Zoey took the ornament

Zoey hangs the ornament back on the tree.

Rinse and Repeat. I think I'll be happy as long as they don't end up pulling the tree down on themselves a midst the fighting.

Zoey also helped me put up some decorations around the house. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

My favorite new outdoor decoration this year. I've been really wanting a Nativity scene but just hadn't found the right one. When I saw this one on Amazon I had to have it. I bought it in October! As a mom, looking at all the traditional Nativity scenes, Jesus is always just sitting in the manger while everyone looks at him from afar. I can tell you that is not the truth, a new mom wants to hold and snuggle the kid she just incubated for the last nine months. Add on top of that that he is the son of God, well, this scene made so much more sense to me and really invoked feelings of love and tenderness. The set was a little pricey but my artistic skills are nil. I never could have hoped to put together a set this beautiful. It was so easy to assemble and is quite durable and from a small family business. Worth it 100%. Once all the rain dries in a couple days, we'll add more lights and decorations to the house. Brandon envisions our home being visible from space, but the fact that he is afraid of heights, that won't happen, I do all the outdoor decorating.

Thankful Thanksgiving

My family has never really had a traditional Thanksgiving. We don't have anything that we do every year for sure. Most years I remember going camping or out to eat Hibachi. When we did have a meal at home, it was never green bean casserole and stuffing. It was usually a Cajun feast with white beans and dirty rice dressing. The last couple of Thanksgivings as it comes close we all just kind of look back and forth to each other and say:

Us: "What are ya'll doing?" 

Them: "I dunno what are you doing"

Us: "I don't know we didn't plan anything" 

Them: "Oh well we might do this or that" 

Us: "Ok well I think we're just stay home, maybe make a turkey and some potatoes, I don't know." 

Them: "Ok so if our plans don't work out can we come over?" 

Us: "Sure"

And so the Masten home has become: If you don't have plans, come over to our house for Thanksgiving. This year wound up inadvertently being out biggest yet. We had 10 adults and 8 kids over, which included my parents, my brother and his family, my sister-in-law's family, and our good friends and their family. With everyone wanting to bring something as is the case, our menu got bigger and bigger. It was quite the mix of traditional and just good food. We had:

• Turkey
• Stuffing
• Turnip Greens (from the garden, we're celebrating the harvest after all right?)
• Au Gratin Potatoes
• Home made dinner rolls
• Pumpkin Pie
• Pecan Pie
• White Beans and Rice
• Pork Roast
• Dirty Rice
• Cranberry Sauce (whole and jelly)
• Sweet Potato Casserole
• Green Bean Casserole
• Mashed Potatoes
• Black Olives
• Pink Fluff (whipped cream with fruit)
• Ham
• Stuffed Bacon Wrapped Jalapenos
• Deviled Eggs
• Induction Fried Turkey
• Gravy
• Sodas and Juice

Just getting a small spoon full of everything made our plates overflow. So much delicious food. I'm still eating on the leftovers and they're still amazing!

The day before Thanksgiving, while I was baking up the bread and pies, I took out an array of craft stuff and helped the kids make some turkeys from pine cones and other assorted items. They turned out super cute, see?

I think a new glue gun is on my wish list this year since as I was gluing on the last sequin for Ian, my dollar store gun popped loudly, tripped the circuit breaker, and started smoking. It lasted pretty good for 5 years of use.

I know that I am truly blessed in my life. I am so thankful for a loving family, for a patient husband who deals with my craziness. I'm thankful for sweet kids, that while they drive me bonkers, my life would be empty without them. I'm grateful for awesome in-laws and the best parents ever who love and support my family and spoil my kids. I'm also thankful for an awesome job that lets me be mom and enjoy using my skills and education, for my husband's job that has great security and benefits, that challenges him and presents countless opportunities for learning. Above all I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, that knows me. Who sent his son to provide a way for us to return and live with Him. What a wonderful holiday of Thanksgiving to reflect and count our blessing. I have so many, I'm still counting!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

He's Such a Boy

The phrase "Boys will be Boys" is totally the truth. I used to think it was just kids will be kids, but there are definitely distinct differences between Boys and Girls. Their drives, personalities, and preferences are just so opposite sometimes. That isn't to say they aren't the same also. Ian is a very boy boy, the most boy they get. He loves cars and building things, dirt, playing outside, being loud, running, but most of all this kid loves to climb and investigate. If he wants to get to something he is going to figure out how to get there. This kid is seriously fearless. He loves to climb on the back of the furniture and try to take things off the walls, shelves, or reach switches which he then relentlessly turns on and off. He likes to hang on the side of the counter top, use his feet to walk up the side of the wall and then flip around backwards through his arms. Yes, he's only 21 months old. Just this morning he figured out how to climb on the tub, stand on the faucet and get into the window sill in our master bathroom He also likes to open the pedestal drawers under the washer and dryer and sit and play in them. He has recently discovered that he can use those drawers as steps to push all the buttons and knobs on the washer, and most recently to climb into the washer and/or dryer when the doors are open.

He's pretty mad because the barrel would rotate every time he tried to get out.

Boy LOVES to eat, here he's enjoying some whoppers candy

I may not survive the raising of this child. Miraculously, he has not yet been to the Emergency Room.

Moms in IT

I have a degree in Information Technology from BYU. There are certain things I knew I would use, like the programming and networking for my own hobby use or home network stuff. I didn't think so much that it would actually be useful to my life as a mom. In IT101, Introduction to IT we made these little circuit board Ys that have an LED that blinks and it plays a couple songs. That one lab taught me the basics of circuitry and electronics and how to solder it all together.

Last year my dear MIL bought the kids this awesome MP3 player for the kids, it looks like a little boom box and has easy to use buttons and functions for the kids to use. I really like it since i was able to put 15 cds worth of songs on it for the kids to play whenever they like. Well Zoey decided one day it would be fun to throw it over the railing upstairs. Lucky thing ended up smashing on the tiny tiled area in front of the fireplace. It rattled but it was still working, amazingly.

The MP3 Player boom box the kids broke and I fixed.

Then one day a week or so ago, it quit working. I figured it was only a matter of time, but I decided, hey I know a thing or two about electronics, I'm gonna fix this thing. First problem, one of the screws holding the halves of the casing together won't unscrew and I end up stripping the head trying to get it out. I left it abandoned on the counter for a week or so. With Thanksgiving coming up I knew I was going to need to clear it off the counter so I finally decided to either fix it or trash it. I took a drill and drilled out the screw so I could get it apart. On first look I can't see any issues with the electronics. As I'm doodling with it checking from the battery to the switch to the circuit board I finally notice one of the ribbon cables from the switch to the circuit board is partially broken away. I immediately think back to my IT 101 class and I'm sure I can fix this.

I rummaged around for the soldering iron, some desoldering braid and wire strippers. I spent the next hour and a half messing with the stupid thing. I talk about Brandon getting fixated with things, but I was not going to give up on this because I knew I could do it! I was having a heck of a time pulling up all the old solder so I could remove the broken wires because the manufacturer put some kind of hot glue over it and it was just making the contacts difficult to get to. Eventually I cleaned out 3 of the 4 holes for the ribbon wire. The last being the ground I couldn't clean out but the contacts were exposed enough that I figured I could just solder over top the existing wire bits. I soldered the ribbon wire back into place and tried to turn the box on and it wouldn't boot up. I knew I should have double checked the markings on the switch and board. I wound up soldering the ribbon on backwards. DOH! So I unsoldered it all again, soldered it back on properly and it fired up perfectly. I put it all back together and strut out of the office buffing my fingernails and jammin' to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

With all the electronic toys these days, it's pays to be a mom with IT experience.

Massaging the Code

Lately I've had a project at work pick up and I've been working nearly every night. The majority of the project involved configuration of an application I already built some years ago. That part was easy. The rest of the work revolves around incorporating some mini programs that were written into my program and installing the whole thing at the client. The mini programs were written in .NET 1.0 by someone with limited coding experience. What that means is the code is 1. outdated 2. inefficient. I liken it to massaging the code. First I copy it all over as is and do the minimum needed to resolve any compilation errors. Then I rewrite obvious ugly code.

For Example:

Dim strSqlquery as String =""
Dim cmd as new SqlCommand()

strSqlquery = "SELECT somecolumn FROM sometable "
strSqlquery = strSqlquery & "WHERE somecolumn=1 "
strSqlquery = strSqlquery & "AND someothercolumn =' " & someVar & "'"

cmd.CommandText = strSqlquery

Becomes

Dim cmd as new SqlCommand("SELECT somecolumn FROM sometable WHERE somecolumn=1 AND someothercolumn = @aVar")

cmd.Parameters.Add("@aVar", varchar).Value = someVar

Technically they both do the same thing, but the second is better for a couple reasons. 1. Less variable declarations means less memory used and less processing. 2. Using parameters eliminates possible errors from building a dynamic query since that variable could be user entered and we don't know if they'll add special characters that need processing. using a parameter will process the content of the variable based on the type of parameter it is to eliminate those problems.

It seems as though we lose some readability by not breaking up the query but that can be remedied by using the & _ between breaks in the string, but that brings me to my third run through massage. 3. I remove all queries and put them into stored procedures. Using stored procedures organizes all your queries into a convenient location, faster execution of the query, and they can be changed if necessary in a live environment without having to cause interruptions with recompiling code.

If the first three massages don't get everything, the 4th step is to re-write objects into classes to group like functions and subroutines for readability. When all the massaging is done, the code is typically reduced in line by half and I can step back and say I'm proud to have had my hands on this code. I love programming!

Turkey Trot Trot to Humble

This morning I woke up in the perfect coocoon of comfort. You know, when the temperature under the blankets is perfect and the temperature outside the blankets is perfect and you're so cozy you just wanna stay in bed all day long and sleep. I ever so reluctantly get out of bed to my oddly perky children. Just as I settle in on the couch to watch the morning news I get a text from my dear SIL which reminds me of my niece's Turkey Trot I said I would go to. I bolt out off the couch and scramble to get the kids ready and in the van to go.

I have one niece in 4th grade and one in 5th. Each grade is doing their trots separately. Each kid gets one point for each lap, every adult gets two points for each lap. Babies counted as 2 points for the 5th graders and 1 point for the 4th graders. I guess they were just trying to figure out how many points they should get. So for every lap me and the kids did for the 5th graders, Chase's class got 6 points, and Linzee's 4th grade class got 4 points. 30 minutes for each grade to complete as many laps as you can.

Aunt Pennie and the kids

Zoey and Ian were very cooperative for the 5th grade trot which took place first. We had a small break in between and they started showing signs of weariness, well Ian anyway. He doesn't like to be confined too much. He'll tolerate it for a while but then that wild boy just needs to get out and do his own thing. By the time the 4th grade trot started, Ian only lasted two laps before I had to carry him because he was wriggling out of the stroller. I carried him one lap and then we had to miss a lap or two to let him run around and get some water. I forced him to let me do one more lap and then we just had to stop, he was being a fish. When I say that I mean flopping around like crazy when I would hold him, the second I put him down, he would fall to the ground and start flopping around there, even more so if I tried to get him to stand up and walk.

At the end of each grade they announced the winners and both Chase and Linzee's classes won ice cream parties and a turkey dinner for their teachers! It was great to be supportive, I know I'm gonna be sore tomorrow! My arms hurt more than my legs do from wrestling with Ian. Getting him in his car seat in the van was another huge feat.

The Purple Princess

One upon a time there was a little girl named Zoey. All her life she had been pretty indifferent to the colors of the rainbow. In fact she really couldn't even distinguish and name them. Her mom would ask her every now and then what her favorite color was and either the answer was always different or just the last color name she could remember. Then one day, the little girl Zoey asked to use the purple sippy cup for her milk. Then she asked to use the purple bowl for her cereal. When it was time to get dressed, she dug through all of her clothes until she found the most purple of them all. At lunch time she demanded the purple plate for her food. By the day's end, only the purple blanket would do to watch TV with. And so, the little girl Zoey turned into the Purple  Princess. Every morning her majesty asks for the purple sippy cup and will complain if she doesn't also get the purple lid. Her insistence on all plates and bowls to be purple can only be satiated by said dishes or "They're dirty, Daddy didn't do the dishes last night." The Purple Princess also has to say the word "Purple" 6,750,502,312 times a day. One must also agree that everything is purple or could be purple or would be better if it were purple or incur the wrath of the princess.

There she is, the Purple Princess in all her glory. Come to think of it, I may have created this monster since I convinced her to choose some very purple bed sheets for her new big girl bed. Maybe she's been absorbing the purple obsession via osmosis at night.

Toddler Workout

There are so many types of workouts and videos, mostly targeting getting super buff for 5 minutes a day 3 days a week or something ridiculous. There was a time when I was trying to do Pilates every day. I love Pilates. I quit that because the kids would crawl all over me while trying to do the Pilates 100 and well it just wasn't working out. Later I got into Just Dance for the Wii, getting my heart rate up while dancing and thinking I looked as cool as the dancer on the TV. The kids would dance with me too. That was great until they got bored and would instead attach themselves to my legs and I couldn't dance or one of them got bashed in the face and I had to stop for all the crying.

I guess the only way I'd get any daily exercise is to have a babysitter. This morning I was sitting on the arm of the couch waiting for Zoey to put her shoes on so we could go Visiting Teaching. Ian attaches himself to my legs, like he pretty much always does and for the fun of it I was doing leg lifts. After about 10 I was feeling a pretty good burn in my thighs. He was giggling and laughing like it was the greatest thing ever. Then I thought, someone really needs to make a "Workout with your Toddlers" video, instead of them being a hindrance, they can be your training resistance to increase effort and results. Of course this would rely on your ability to lift, push and pull around 20-30 lbs and their willingness to participate. It would be nice if the exercise could be performed alone or with a child or two, but it would have to be fun for the kid too. Sounds like I'm asking for too much now that I think about it. If there's one thing I've learned is that you can't count on the predictability of children.

More Than Just Snot

Friday evening I was working in the office and Brandon typically puts the kids to bed by himself when I am working so I don't have to break out of my programming zone. Shortly after he finishes getting Zoey down I hear crying coming from upstairs. Her room is just above the office and I can tell the difference between my kids' cries so I was sure it was Zoey. I run upstairs to check on her and she is bawling her eyes out and spouting what sounds like gibberish to me. My ears were still a bit stopped up because of my cold. Brandon comes in and translates she says she has a bead in her nose. We turn on the light and  take a look and sure enough wedged up in her nostril is a red barrel bead. She's still weeping and wailing quite a bit and she's freaked out so she won't blow her nose. Not that even if she did it would unwedge it since she's not even very good at blowing snot out into a kleenex.

I tell Brandon to get some tweezers since it seems like I could pick it out myself. He returns with the pointest pair we have. I thought he would get the blunt scissor like ones we have. I try my best to pin her down to the bed and go in to the extract it and she jerks her head and I stab her in the nose with the tweezers. So now her nose is bleeding and the bead turned out to be bigger than I expected, the tweezers weren't going to get around it easily anyway. I then just told Brandon to take her to the Emergency Care center down the street. I gotta get back to work and Ian is sleeping anyway. Zoey is still freaking out about not being able to get this bead out of her nose. I'm pretty much laughing at this point. I know she isn't in any real danger but she can't seem to understand that, but I don't want to laugh at her out loud because it'll just make her more upset.

About 30 minutes and $100 later Zoey and Brandon come back sans bead plus two stickers and a lollipop. He said once she calmed down she was fine. They wrapped her up really tight but as soon as the doctor touched her she freaked out again. They inserted a catheter that makes a bubble on the end behind the bead, inflated it and it popped the bead right out. When she got home I asked her if she was going to stick anything else in her nose and she told me yes. hahaha. The next day she did say no though, maybe she just needed to sleep on it.

I was sure this day was going to come where one of my kids stuck something up their nose, but I kind of figured at this point it would have been Ian, not Zoey. Just goes to show, you never know what to expect with kids. For future reference, the ER doctor said we could plug the other nostril and blow hard into her mouth and it would produce enough airflow force to dislodge most things.

Daylight Savings Time

As I kid I didn't like the Spring forward very much, losing an hour of sleep and all. I loved Fall back, obviously every kid loves an extra hour of sleep, especially a teenager. This still rang true as I got older, had a kid. Now, two toddlers later, I'm absolutely certain that whoever decided that daylight savings time was a good idea, was definitely NOT a parent. While I'm supposed to feel like I have gained an extra hour of sleep for one day I find that I have lost 4 hours of sleep so far since moving my clock back an hour Sunday morning. It's a great theory that putting the kids to bed an hour later would mean they wake up an hour later, but apparently their internal clocks didn't get the memo. There they are at my bedside all bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for the day at 6 am. Ugh. Just when I had finally gotten them to sleep until 7-7:30. Unfortunately because they are also getting an hour less of sleep, they are grumpier faster in the evening. It seems to usually take them a week to adjust, but they are just not budging on this time's change. I might have actually gone vote on Tuesday if there was a proposition to discontinue observance of daylight savings time. I'm sure every parent would have been at the polls. The news talks about voter apathy, it's because we're all zombies from losing sleep over stupid daylight savings!

Making Life Difficult

In general I appreciate when Brandon steps in and helps out with the kids. This Saturday I needed to work most of the day so he took care of the kids. I came out for a break and I found the living room in shambles, strewn with books and puzzles and game pieces. I noticed there wasn't anyone around and then I walk outside and found this:

Apparently the kids got into the hall closet and dragged the tent out and opened the bag. Wherein the father that pretty much never says no, pitched the tent in the back yard so they all could play. So what's the problem? Dad doesn't say no, but mom does! I've figured it out that they reason I typically say no to something is not that it is a danger or something the kids shouldn't do but that it will typically result in some kind of mess that I will have to clean up.

So when dad says yes, I still usually have to clean up some or all of the resulting mess. In this case I didn't have to but now every day the kids get into the hall closet they will expect me to pitch the tent for them. It's just like every time we go to Walmart, we can't ever leave without a melt down from wanting to play the claw machine games because Brandon always stops and plays. Zoey always thinks she can get out of going to bed if she asks to watch football with Daddy because Brandon let her do it one time. I guess toddlers just don't get the idea of an occasional treat. They do know if they flash their sparkly eyes at daddy enough, they'll get whatever they want. That doesn't work on mom, but it makes her life more difficult.

Halloween Fun

This year for Halloween, we did what we do every year, carve pumpkins and go Trick or Treating.

Zoey: "It's Yucky Mom"

Ian attempts to help Daddy

See the look of disgust on his face. He didn't like the insides either.

Ian and Zoey helped me draw a face on my pumpkin.

Zoey and Hannah so ready to go Trick or Treating!

Pumpkin, Strawberry Shortcake, and Stink Bug!

An hour later the kids examine the loot and pick a few choice pieces to consume before bed.

Brandon's pumpkin "Trick or Troot"

Our decorations. Two real jack-o-lanterns, 1 plastic, 3 hanging ghosts, two strings of lighted bats, some orange lights, a giant spider, cobwebs and our Enchanted Tree face who says "Hey! Hey you! Yeah you. Come over here. Haven't you ever seen a talking tree before? Welcome to my branch office, hehehe. Now! Make like a tree and leave! HA HA HA!! I know that exactly because it was hanging on the wall in the play room all month and would go off any time the kids screamed or made a loud noise.

The kids and my jack-o-lantern.

The giant spider watches you as you come to the door.

We had a lot of fun this year, we left the bowl of candy on a table outside the door with our animated grim reaper to hand out the candy, it was cleaned out by the time we got back at 7:45. Refilled it and it was emptied again before we went to bed. And yet, I still went to Walmart today and bought more candy! haha, I couldn't resist it at half price. The Almond Joys were screaming at me to eat them! And eat them I will. 

For My Gouls and Goblins

I didn't think I would like being a Nursery leader as much as I do but I really look forward to church every Sunday to spend time with my little bunch of kiddos. With it being the Sunday before Halloween I wanted to give my kids a little treat. I thought I had plenty of clear cellophane treat bags, but it turns out I only had 4, and on average we have about 8-9 kids. It was about 10:30 and we have church at 12:30. I thought about just using sandwich bags, but that seemed cheap. I remembered some Halloween theme fabric I had in my stash and I ran upstairs and whipped out 12 treat bags, filled them with goodies and tied with a pretty bow. Took about 30 minutes in all. I love that serger, it made quick work of these baggies.

The kids were off the wall CRAZY this Sunday, usually they're a pretty mellow bunch. I'm sure it was a result of the Trunk or Treat we had the night before. I didn't feel bad at all sending them home with a little more sugar. Hehe.

Bedknobs and Brandons

A couple days ago Brandon wakes me for morning prayer as usual...

B: Do you remember me trying to take the bed knob off the bed last night?
M: uhh no, I was sleeping pretty deeply. What do you mean?
B: I had this dream that I needed to take the bed knob off of the bed and I half woke up stretched across the bed unscrewing the bed knob. It was almost off so I just finished taking it off and put it on my night stand and went back to sleep. I had trouble turning off my alarm because the bed knob was in the way and I thought, oh I  guess that wasn't a dream.
M: BAAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Why did you need to take off the bed knob?!
B: I don't know!

Brandon has been known to sit up in bed and spout gibberish or even get out of the bed and stand at the side of it before getting back in, but nothing I know of this cognitive. The bed knob he took off in his sleep was the one at my foot, he certainly had easier and closer choices, but it makes it even funnier to imagine him stretched caddy corner struggling to unscrew the bed knob in his sleep. I wonder if any of his dream revolved around that old movie "Bed Knobs and Broom Sticks" maybe he was trying to get us to fly somewhere. hehehehehehe.

Check out minute 6:14 to get to the real bedknob action.

The Truth About Moms

The old saying "Moms have eyes in the back of their heads." came to mind a couple of days ago. I think perhaps that phrase was coined because it's easier for kids to understand that's how moms know what they are up to all the time. In reality, the phrase should be "Moms have supersonic hearing and impeccable sound recognition." As I have become a more experienced mom I have learned the sound every drawer in my kitchen makes, the sound of every item in the drawer and cabinet. The sound of all cabinets in the bathroom, the creak of any bed in the house, the distinct squeak profile of every door, and the sound of basically any toy or object clattering with any other toy or object or person in the house.

There have been many times I'm folding laundry in the utility room and I call upstairs to Zoey to stop throwing books off of Ian's book shelf and put the rocker ottoman back where it belongs. Other occurances include: to let Ian out of the closet, put all her jammies back in their drawer, and stop banging legos on the TV stand. Without even being in view of her I know she stops and wonders how the heck I know exactly what she is up to. The other saying, "It's not what you hear, it's what you don't that you should be worried about" is also true.  Typically when I realize there is an absence of sound I'll drop whatever I'm doing and brace myself for the worst when I go and find the kids. Nine times out of ten they'll be getting into trouble, like smearing three whole tubes of chapstick all over their faces, but sometimes they're being really sweet, like reading books to each other.

I'm constantly amazed at the new things that being a mom has taught me. They are lessons and skills you can't be taught any other way.

Bugs in my Shortcake!

I've been RREEEAAALLLY super excited this Halloween to make costumes for the kids. I finally got Zoey to settle on a "Strawberry Shortcake Princess" and since Ian couldn't really tell me what he wanted to be, I decided for him, a Stinkbug, because that's what I call him.

For Zoey I used Simplicty pattern 2073 and New Look 6880. They're both the same company so merging the two to integrate the sleeves only required some minor adjustments. When I saw the costume pattern I totally fell in love with it, it was the boning in the skirt. I just love that poofy flared look and I knew it would really suit Zoey. After I bought the pattern I scoured the internet for hours and hours looking for the right fabric and it just wasn't out there. Finally days later I came up with a solution, sequins! I wanted it all to be as shiny and sparkly as possible because she was a princess too, not just strawberry shortcake. It took 4 tries to find the right color pink satin. Thankfully it was cheap at 3 dollars or less a yard. I glued on the sequins because it was less work that way but Ian has since ripped many of them off so I reinforced by sewing them on and gluing. It was not as easy as I thought it would be to arrange all those dots evenly on the dress because of the shape of the fabric I couldn't just measure and mark and have everything square. So it's not perfect, but at a glance I bet you can't tell many of them are off.

2009 Version Strawberry Shortcake. She has a show on The Hub.

Once the dress was all put together I just couldn't figure out the right head accessory. I kept coming back to a tiara for the princess effect but I couldn't figure out how to tailor it to what I wanted. As I was browsing around the internet for ideas I came across this Strawberry Fairy Hat and decided that style was the perfect accessory. So it kinda fits in the fairy category than princess, but I figured I was taking creative liberties on the Strawberry Shortcake character anyway I might as well do what I thought fit the style of the dress best. It took me three pattern drafts and mock up hats before I got the flare, ripple and crown all fitting and looking just right. The last thing left was to make the strawberry stem and leaves. That also took several drafts and tries to get it right. The green satin I bought was "costume" satin. Read: low quality and ravels easily. The rest of the satin for the dress was made with "special occasion" fabric, it was much more cooperative to sew with. With a butane lighter to melt the edges I was able to make it work. I decided to skip the glue for the hat and just sew all the sequins on.

The pattern did include tights but I decided to just purchase some from www.welovecolors.com. To let me have time to focus on Ian's costume. And so, I give you the Strawberry Shortcake Princess Fairy in all her glory!

I'm so happy with how her costume turned out that I'm entering it in two contests. One from Simplicity and one from We Love Colors. WLCs has a people's choice prize so head over to their page and Like Zoey's picture! The Simplicty contest is much more hard core, if you make the first cut you have to send them the costume for examination! I'd be really lucky to make the first cut, I'd be going up against some of the most talented sewers! Although, I did use a bit of creativity in altering the pattern and the inside of the dress is crazy neat thanks to my serger!

Totals for Zoey's Costume:
Pattern: $1
Fabric (3/4 yard pink, 1/2 yard white, 1/4 yard green): $4
Notions (thread, glue, sequins, zipper, boning, etc): $13
Tights: $9
Total: $27

Now what about Ian? I call him Stink bug because 1. His poop stinks 2. He can't ever stay out of the garden, just like the stink bugs this summer wouldn't get out of my tomatoes! I decided to go with the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug because those were the variety eating up my plants and they seemed less boring looking than the green ones. I originally wanted to just go find a hoodie and pants for Ian's outfit but after much searching, I could not find anything I liked reasonably priced. Then I remembered some fabric I had that my mom had given me two years ago to use for Brandon's Jedi costume, but I wound up not using it then, glad I still had it, it was just right for Ian's costume!

 I used Simplicty pattern 5316 without alterations (other than shortening the legs and cinching in the waist band because my kids are tiny). My first time putting in a separating zipper and I think it worked out pretty great. Then I just sewed some pipe cleaners to the hoodie for his antennae. I twisted two colors together that gave it just the right verigation. Though it is hard to tell the fabric is also sorta stripy in tan and cream. While in reality the bug's underside is more solid cream colored, it seemed to make more sense overall to have it just be brownish. The shell is where I dedicated the most work to Ian's costume. Yes, sewing the hoodie and pants took time, but only a couple hours overall. I spent that and more on the shell.

Since stink bugs don't really have very curved shells, I wanted it to be mostly flat but with some dimension. I glued together about 20 layers of newspaper on the hood of Brandon's car to get some slight curvature. I used this great paper mache paste recipe. I like it better than raw flour and water, it's smooth and seems to dry stronger. It's best used warm, once it cools it gets kinda chunky jelly like. I loved the way it came out but after searching more pictures, it needed way more dimension. I cut out a shield shape and then added another 10 layers of paper mache with some extra padding to bring it out more. It ended up rehydrating the bottom layers and they lost their shape. I guess it didn't really matter in the end.

I originally planned to paint the shell myself and I was really dreading this part. My artistic skills are basically nil when it comes to drawing, painting, coloring, or using any kind of medium in that range. After looking over lots and lots of pictures, the task seemed even more daunting because of all the variation in colors and pattern in the shell and wings. Then I had the great idea to blow up a picture of an actual stink bug and paper mache it to the form I made! Bingo! I found a high resolution picture, blew it up a little, shaped it to fit the shell I had made and paper mached it on. Perfection! I painted the back of the shell plan gray and then attached two straps I made from leftover fabric. I'm actually still struggling with this part, the straps work, but as long as Ian doesn't do anything toddler like, ie: run, fall, twist, or otherwise struggle in the thing or the straps break away from the paper mache. I've tried hot glue and heavy duty staples to keep the straps attached but it just isn't strong enough. I'm thinking I'll probably have to drill some holes and thread the straps in so it's holding to more than just the surface layer of paper.

I realize if I wanted to be proportionally correct the shell would have to be much much bigger, but he's a reluctant toddler as it is, I was lucky to get him to wear this much. Overall, I am very pleased. Ian makes a great stinkbug!

I'm going to enter Ian's costume in the Simplicity contest as well since I did use one of their patterns, but I doubt his will place since there is no real creativity in it on the sewing front.

Totals for Ian's costume:
Pattern: $5
Fabric: Free
Notions: $6
Shell: lets just say $1 in the cost of flour and paper, and glue, even though I got the newspapers free and I already had everything else.
Total: $12