Extracorporeal Shock Wave Lithotripsy

About a year ago on a sunny Sunday morning I suddenly felt like I was in labor. The pain was unimaginable and the nausea was unbearable. A week later I gave birth to this beauty:

Kenny the kidney stone

It was a pretty awful experience and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I later found out that Kenny is a calcium stone, the hardest and most jagged of all known kidney stones. I likely formed this stone while pregnant and consuming lots of tums for heartburn (curse you HEB and your delicious antacid tablets!). Most parents-to-be are thrilled at the knowledge of twins, but I was not when I learned Kenny had a twin sister in my other kidney twice the size of Kenny! Kendra however was not an immediate threat as she was high up in my kidney and not showing signs of movement. I knew she'd have to be blasted at some point since she was much too large to pass on her own. I put it off and put it off and put it off because I really was dreading the experience.

So last Thursday I finally went in to have my stone taken care of. Everyone knows that doctors offices and hospitals are freezing cold. I'm guessing that's to keep people fresh and preserved but it's just a bother to me, someone who is almost always cold anyway. The staff are finally starting to realize this and while waiting for my procedure they gave me this awesome gown, not your usual cloth hospital gown, it was mostly paper and plastic. It had these terminals that they hooked a hose that blows warm air into it and the whole gown inflates and you can sit in your own toasty little heater. Man it would be great to have one of those at home. I should have brought it home and hooked it up to my hair dryer. So while Brandon was shivering and mourning the loss of an hour's worth of video game progress, I was relaxin' all toasty in my gown.

Next various people come through: prep nurse, anesthesiologist, OR nurse, and my urologist and I'm hooked to an IV, given some saline, briefed on my trip to lala land and the procedure and recovery. About 1:45 the anesthesiologist comes in and gives me a pre-sedative to relax me and make me drowsy. As they wheel me out of the room I hear him mention it should kick in pretty fast and I immediately start giggling. I think I made it another 3 feet and I was laughing outrageously and then I don't remember another thing.

I kind of envisioned the procedure to be my urologist aiming some large death-ray looking gun at my back and laughing manically as he repeatedly pelts me with shock waves, but in reality the machine probably looked more medical and boring, like this:

So for me it was over pretty quick, the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery and asking the nurse if I had been snoring. I don't know why that mattered to me, I've never been self conscious about snoring before. Only about 45 minutes or so had passed since I went under. Once I seemed to be awake enough they wheeled me into another recovery room and had me sit in a chair and they hooked me back up to a warming tube. Brandon came in shortly. I guess we were there another 45 minutes or so while I finished waking up, eating some crackers and juice, taking some Vicodin for the sharp pains in my back, and pee some blood to make sure my kidney didn't shut down.

The ride home was the worst part of it all, and Brandon was being an unusually good driver. The nausea was so bad, probably because everything was still moving in slow motion for me. Once home, and over the next couple days I had to take it easy and drink at least 2 liters of water a day. I'm so tired of drinking water. Thankfully, the pain wasn't too bad, just some general abdominal discomfort and nausea. Kendra has been leaving as little sandy bits, not painful at all. I'm glad it's done and over and I'm feeling back to my old self. And for the record, I have not eaten another antacid tablet.